MDRA the Audacious, Not Born to Behave…
Confidence comes in many forms. For some it’s an inherent ego that mailways their path. For others, it’s a quiet experience as your actions speak louder than words. It both drives us, but keeps us fallible, mortal. Let your ego reign, and you’ll sit atop a barren throne. Let it wither, and you find yourself at the mercy of all. There is no right or wrong answer, there is only a balance. And if Mississauga’s very own MDRA is anything, it’s a being who walks a fine line between the two. Mortal enough to know one’s own faults, but unflinching in what she believes is her destiny. Audacity channeled through an iron will.
And so, as this interview commences, and as I remember one of my favorite Sharuk bars, “You know the name, say it correct… long as you say it… just use some respect.”
Much the same can be said about our resident songstress, pronounced “Ma-Da-Ra,” and hereby MDRA, as she strode into The Beaumont alongside longtime friend and confidant st4r, as we sat down to interview two of Toronto’s illest.
Born in the tropics of Sri Lanka, yet calling Mississauga, Ontario home, MDRA reminisces on those early years as experimentation among friends led to a new found love.
“I was nervous as fuck, since it was the first song I ever recorded. And it was recorded in my ex-boyfriend’s garage… [as st4r cackles in the background]. That summer that I met him, we used to just chill in his garage morning to night. All his friends would come by since he had a mic setup on the side. We had a DJ board, just spinning music and the whole hood would come out. It was sick as fuck. It’s kinda where I even realized I wanted to make music. I was always writing music, but I never really wanted to do it for myself. Not that I didn’t want to, but I just didn’t think I could. Then one day, he took my laptop and he saw that I used to write poems and songwrite for other people. And so, I’d take instrumentals and do poetry on top of it and he looked at me and said, ‘Bro, like why the fuck don’t you do your own shit?’”
And it’s this inciting question that would drastically shift MDRA’s multi-linear path, with tracks crafted as much as jokes as a realized product. And we can vividly hear these elements in her very first track titled, Cruisin’. Heavily autotuned and alongside a gorgeous chorus, MDRA personifies heady summer nights amongst friends and compatriots as the world appeared a little less nihilistic. And yet, the youthful ethos reveals MDRA’s poignant ability to capture a frame and distill it into music. One where the rays of sunshine are beaming, as MDRA cruises around familiar streets. Exuberant in a summer she describes as a cornerstone to her story. But as our conversation shifted to more recent trends, MDRA began to discuss the nature of Toronto and the ever-present box that begins to close as the city eats itself alive.
While cannibalism might be dramatic, MDRA displayed significantly more tact as she explains a segment of Toronto we don’t often get a peek into out West.
“That’s the thing, I feel like a lot of people only talk about the shit they personally listen to. Like I don’t personally listen to electronic music but I know there’s so many hard artists doing their thing in the genres they’re in.”
“And as long as you’re passionate, as long as you have some real talent, I’m going to support you no matter what. It doesn’t matter if I listen to your actual music, like if I see that from you I’m going to put you on, I’m going to make sure you get connected with the people that are going to help you out, you know.”
“And there’s too many opportunities out here to be selfish, to feel like someones going to take your shine.”
Like I stated, audacity tempered by wisdom creates wisemen of us all. And within MDRA’s case, can you perceive how such a fine balance is struck? It comes from a precise awareness of the folies between both. Of an ego curtailed amidst the beauty of art.
So you, the reader, fellow artists and contemporaries, we have to remember to move like MDRA, for it is as she states. There’s too many opportunities amongst us all for ego and envy to weigh down our paths. For anything less would mean we doom our scenes to mediocrity and a lack of suffrage. A stagnation that we have a chance of escaping.
MDRA continues her breakdown of Toronto stating…
“I don’t wanna get boxed into being a Toronto artist. As much as I love being from Toronto, and as much as I think we’re amazing, I just don’t want to be boxed in cause it’s really hard to get out of that once you’re in it. And so, as much as I don’t want to leave Toronto to make it somewhere else, you kinda have to, you know what I mean. It’s not anything else other than its own people that don’t allow you to do that.”
And this is where MDRA’s ethos began to cement itself in my head. An energy stemming from the vast, all encompassing pressure of others as we live our individual lives. From parents and their insistence on a “wise” path, or that of confidants who view our lives through their lens. Distinct pressure points that throw a thread onto one’s shoulder. Not chains, for they hold no intrinsic power, and yet even threads can become an unbearable weight as they’re thrown across a thousand times, weaved in and out of our lives. And it is these threads, these segments that ultimately act as the proverbial box.
Covering the heavens so we remain as they deemed. And yet, to do so would be giving in. To do so would mean to malay one’s own path as it becomes enforced by another. And for an individual “not born to behave”, it becomes a net that must be cut as they cement their own legacy, their own ethos.
Yet, a legacy within art can denote many facets. For no art is created without its influences, and as we began to break down MDRA’s, they shifted away from what I had initially expected. Rather than music, MDRA spoke of movies and films as her avenue for inspiration.
Yet, this ended up less of a surprise than an answer, as MDRA’s broad catalog of music videos, lengthier than her own Soundcloud discography reveal another facet of her work, as she views her catalog and music more broadly as stories. Almost as if she lives different realities in each of her tracks. Each cemented within MDRA herself, but shown to the world through sonics that capture the emotional quandary, as the lyrics ground the tracks in reality. MDRA describes her earliest music videos as…
“They were a lot of fun. I like doing music videos. I wanna be that artist that if I put out a music video, people go run to Youtube to listen to watch the video. I wanna make sure that every time I put out a video, it’s hard as fuck. And most of my videos are inspired by movies, every one of them is usually inspired by them. Even if I can’t get it exactly like I want it to, or execute how I wanted to, that inspiration comes from somewhere.”
The Kill Bill inspired “Forbes”, (shot by @MYNAMEFRENCH) features a sword wielding MDRA encapsulating the films sultry smooth murderous atmosphere. She made a specific note during the interview to shout out French, as she goes on to explain my favorite video to date, titled “Intuition.”
“That one was actually supposed to be inspired by Skyfall (James Bond). What I wanted to do was mimic the opening credits of the movie, where he falls off and it’s super cool as they zoom into his eyes and you know, it’s just mad transitions.”
“I actually filmed the whole Intuition music video in the UK, but I didn’t like it. So when I flew back I did it with French. I actually didn’t mind the video, it was cool, but I feel like it just wasn’t what the song required or reflected. And if theres one thing about me, is that if I don’t fuck with it, I’m not putting it out. I don’t care if we’re on a time limit, I don’t care. If it’s not what I want it to be, I don’t put it out, cause I don’t want that perception of it.”
An artistic integrity that goes beyond simply the accouterments of a modern track. MDRA crafts an entire experience for her music, where the video becomes an aspect of the broader art piece at work. Yet, for a musician we haven’t discussed much music. And so, as I segway for the final time, another shade of MDRA comes into play. Because the audacity isn’t limited through public interaction and support. It can most clearly be seen within the music itself, and through the myriad of genres MDRA dives into.
On the track, Not Born to Behave, MDRA raps over a slow tempo duple meter beat, punctuated by harsh 808’s that decries an ethos of remaining caged. A denial that cements itself through MDRA gravely vocals, as the chorus runs, “I wasn’t born to behave, I do what I want there’s just no other way.”
“It’s called Not Born to Behave, because I feel like that’s my whole brand. I’m just gonna do what I wanna do. I’m Sri Lankan, so for women especially there’s a lot of cultural stigma and societal expectations. So, growing up I gave my parents hell. I’m just a lot different than girls that they’re used to.”
“So, I was seen as this disrespectful kid, but that was never my intention. I just didn’t wanna live for anybody else, so that’s kinda how I lived my whole life. And I think now, they’re finally starting to see what I kinda meant. My mom cried, balled, when I dropped out of college. You know what I mean.”
“That’s why I grew up my whole life feeling like I let everybody down, for just living my life. I wasn’t doing anything to anybody, I was just doing me, and it felt wrong. I felt wrong my whole life. But now, our parents, they need to see results.”
“And that’s what I tried to put into the tape. To show them that I wasn’t born to behave, I wasn’t born to be tied down or tamed, I’m just tryna do me.”
Not Born to Behave is then more than simply a track designed to bounce. It becomes a rejection of a woven path. Ones whose threads bite into your being unless they’re denounced and snipped away. Yet, the theme remains present throughout MDRA’s discography, as the music becomes an avenue of catharsis for both the listener and for MDRA herself.
On the track Intuition, alongside a steady metrical piano, MDRA espouses a sense of melancholy as she comes to terms with waning love and the reprioritization that often accompanies its end. A drastic shift in tone and sound from her 808 heavy production, yet MDRA remains in her bag, as she effortlessly flows over the sorrowful ballad.
“That’s why I grew up my whole life feeling like I let everybody down, for just living my life. I wasn’t doing anything to anybody, I was just doing me, and it felt wrong. I felt wrong my whole life. But now, our parents, they need to see results.”
“And that’s what I tried to put into the tape. To show them that I wasn’t born to behave, I wasn’t born to be tied down or tamed, I’m just tryna do me.”
Not Born to Behave is then more than simply a track designed to bounce. It becomes a rejection of a woven path. Ones whose threads bite into your being unless they’re denounced and snipped away. Yet, the theme remains present throughout MDRA’s discography, as the music becomes an avenue of catharsis for both the listener and for MDRA herself.
On the track Intuition, alongside a steady metrical piano, MDRA espouses a sense of melancholy as she comes to terms with waning love and the reprioritization that often accompanies its end. A drastic shift in tone and sound from her 808 heavy production, yet MDRA remains in her bag, as she effortlessly flows over the sorrowful ballad.
Returning with a more upbeat tempo, MDRA explores the duality between Pain 2 Power within her latest release. Where Intuition was a somber reflection of life’s tribulations, Pain 2 Power is as it states.
A reaffirmation of all that is MDRA and all that will be MDRA, through a sense of self-worth governed by only her own interpretation of self. Yet, it remains an audacity tempered by wisdom, and the effervescent art to top it all. Consequently, Pain 2 Power remains a steadfast journey through a moment of life’s many painful lessons, yet an acknowledgement of its many beauties as well.
And so, as this article comes to a close, I bid MDRA the Audacious, godspeed, for your path is yours to foretell and the heavens yours to grasp.
“People gonna hate regardless, and people been talking about me my whole life.”
From the influences of UK drill on Forbes and Not Born to Behave, to the sultry smooth delivery on Intuition, MDRA remains unafraid to shift her chosen sound at a whim.